belief

fine line between belief and disbelief

how can there be a god when

loved ones die

catastrophic events occur every day

the list of "when" goes on and on.

the multitude of conflicts in any recognized religion

is beyond belief.

wars begat religion

and religions begat religion

hmm. MAGO in Sedona.

a religion? a resort? wtf?

when a favorite aunt was diagnosed with cancer,

she was young. so was i.

she believed that god was good and was looking

out for her. she died in three months.

ditto my father--the short period of illness

full of pain and misery.

didn't hear him beg for god's mercy

or proclaim a "better place."

but in the throes of agony

(catchy phrase, isn't it?)

i find myself begging for mercy,

god's mercy.

that child didn't deserve to die

or suffer

PLEASE do not let this happen

or that happen.

I don't want it to make me strong

or strengthen my faith or lack thereof

just make the bad go away